7 Tips to Actually Enjoy the Holidays and Avoid Family Drama
It can be tough to spend time with family when we share different values, especially around the holidays. We try to pack so much into our days as it is, and this time of year, expectations sky rocket. Buying presents, attending gatherings, making nice with family members whose views you disagree with… it can all be stressful. I want to help you with all this!
There are many ways that hypnotherapy can create a foundation for you to build on for managing your stress around family drama at holidays. We can desensitize you to the things others do that normally drive you crazy. We can explore what is happening under the surface that is really triggering you. Or we can create an anchor for you in hypnosis to help you connect with your inner calm when chaos is happening all around you.
While not in a session, there are also some other tools you can use to move through this time with healthy boundaries. Hopefully, you’ll even enjoy the holidays and avoid family drama altogether!
Check out these 7 tips for how to enjoy the holidays, instead of dreading them:
1. Self check-in
Start with yourself, because before you can share, you need to fill your cup first. Take time to sit down and think. Ask yourself “what do I want and what does my family want?” during the holidays. Write it all down. Pull up the calendar and write down all the events that your family expects you to attend, regardless of whether you want to go.
2. Commit to attending one significant event or even hosting it
Next, make a plan to attend or host one big event. Let your family know and talk about what excites you about it. It’s ok to say no to the rest. You might choose to do less to protect your energy and to take care of your health.
3. Communicate your plans in advance
After you make a plan to attend or host an event, start marking off your calendar what you won’t be doing. Tell your family as far ahead of time as you possibly can, and before you reach out to break the news, prepare to explain why. If they argue, let them know you understand they may be unhappy. Explain that you have reasons for why you’re making this decision. It’s your decision to make. Then reaffirm how happy and excited you are about the big event that you will be attending or hosting.
4. Give yourself a break
While at the event, excuse yourself if needed. Go outside for fresh air. Bring a book and read it in another room for a moment. Take a few deep breaths in the bathroom. If you have kids or a partner, allow them to spend solo time with your family. Ask for help where you need it.
5. Prepare for pushback
You know yourself and your family. Think about how they may react, what they may say, and how you are going to feel. Acknowledge those feelings and then accept them. Plan what you will say to the things you expect from your family, and how you will move on. Before, after, and during the event. They may throw temper tantrums when we set boundaries we didn’t have before. That’s ok. You are growing and changing. As the adult, you can witness their distress and through hypnotherapy we can train your subconscious mind to care about them without carrying them. It isn’t your job to make everyone happy.
6. Try to take the focus off of the difficult topics
To move on, it may be helpful to plan some safe topics. Make activity suggestions that involve less talking. Especially about topics you may want to avoid, such as politics or social justice issues. Some ideas your family may enjoy could be: going for a walk together, seeing a movie, playing a game without keeping score, and so on. Prepare suggestions you think as many guests involved would actually like.
7. Stay consistent
Lastly, try to be as consistent as possible. With your family and yourself. If you plan to attend an event, do your best to show up and be positive. Try some simple affirmations beforehand. Tell yourself “I will have a good time.” Another affirmation to try is “I’m so grateful we are all healthy enough to be together.” or “It’s ok if we see things differently, I still love and accept them for who they are.” If you do not plan to attend an event, hold yourself accountable mentally. Those affirmations come in handy here, too. Remind yourself, “I do not need to be everything to everyone.” Or try, “I do not need to see my family every single day of the holidays to love them.”
Happy holidays to everyone, and I truly mean happy! I hope these tips may help you to actually enjoy this time. Please take care with your thoughts and actions this year!
